Turnbull Makes An Heroic Assumption Of Himself

Our new Environment Minister was on Lateline last night looking and sounding very uncomfortable trying to defend Howard’s latest talking points on how tackling climate change would destroy our economy.

Having finally abandoned outright climate change denial, the new central strategy is to argue the extent of climate change, the cost of adapting to it, whether black is white, up is down or if yes means no. 

One good thing I can say about Turnbull’s interview is that at least the Liberals are finally embracing recycling:

• apparently the goals outlined in the Stern Report and the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change reports are all “aspirational” goals.  Something that might be fun to aim for, but like the average Australian families hoping for a better life under the Howard regime – not really very likely at all.
• the Government’s response to climate change was to be “pragmatic” and “practical” whereas the Opposition’s was going to be merely “symbolic“.  For those of you who don’t remember, when the Government began talking about the benefits of “practical Reconciliation” it signalled the end of any attempt at actual Reconciliation.  And their approach on that contrasted with piffling fuzzy “symbolic” acts like admitting anything had been done wrong in the past, or *gasp* saying “sorry”.
• Outright lying.  “No Government in the world has done more to address climate change than the Australian Government”
• Lionising themselves for doing the unthinkably esoteric.  I didn’t get the exact quote, but one of his points to back up the previous point, Turnbull said something pretty close to this – “The Australian Government is leading the way in lighting efficiency by phasing out incandescent bulbs.” I forget what his second supporting point was, I think it might have been about the regional forest programme the Government announced.  This policy is like trying to stop your bath flooding by turning off your downstairs neighbours taps.  It’s still worth doing, but it doesn’t stop your own problem, and it won’t save your neighbour in the long run.

Hicks – A Sham Verdict From A Sham Trial

The rumours that were circulating yesterday that David Hicks was going to make a plea bargain have proven true.  And I can’t blame him for accepting one. 

After five years in hell, kept away from family, friends and the public – and for the last year, kept in solitary confinement, who wouldn’t break?

And after half a decade in jail without charge, the day you get into court two of your lawyers being dismissed from the case wouldn’t give you much more faith into the process which had already been re-written after the first kangaroo court system had been struck down by the US Supreme Court.

There was a protest about the Hicks trial outside DFAT this afternoon that had been called before we heard about the plea bargain.  I spent about an hour in an orange jumpsuit with a bag over my head in the beating sun, while the media took photos and footage. 

A Relaxing Weekend – Peace, Refugees, ABC & A Concrete Slab

I went to see The Lives Of Others on Friday night – a movie about artists being monitored by the Secret Police in East Germany in 1984 and the Stasi officer in charge of their surveillance.  It’s a very good film, and the people I went with heartily recommend it, as I’m sure, would I, if I hadn’t fallen asleep.  I had been enjoying it up until then, it was fatigue not boredom that saw me nodding off, I swear.  The film, or at least the first three quarters of it, is set in 1984 in East Germany and revolves around a group of artists placed under surveillance by the Secret Police.  It poses the not at all increasingly relevant question: in a totalitarian regime with arbitrary powers given to flawed individuals, can anyone avoid becoming a criminal either consciously or not.  I recommend it to anyone, and if you see it and like it, please let me know how it ends.

Despite the lethargic beginning to the weekend, I got a lot done.

On Saturday, I took my new bike out for the day’s appointments.

First I rode it to the Friends of the Earth office at West End for a 9am til 12 meeting to plan out the events around this year’s Peace Convergence.  The Peace Convergence is a gathering up in the Yeppoon area to protest about the huge joint US-Australia war games Talisman-Sabre ‘07 at Shoalwater Bay in June this year.

“PM Dismisses Poll Showing 7 out of 10 Think He’s Arrogant”

A friend of mine rang me this morning then burst out laughing as soon as she’d introduced herself.  She had the radio on in the background and had just heard that news headline. 

I had been meaning to post about how the media keeps letting the Government re-write stories that are critical of them by running headlines like “Government Rejects UN Report On Our Treatment Of Refugees” when it puts the Government in a huge position of power to write off these reports before the subject of them is even mentioned in the story, let alone the source.

Now perhaps that would be valid if the Government ever accepted the premise of any report from any source saying that they had done anything wrong.  But it never happens.  The Government rejection should be taken as a matter of course, so report the real story, properly, without letting the Government spin it first.  Include their outraged denials in the text if you will, but let the headline tell the news story, not the propaganda play.

I Am The Eggman

 I’ve raised over $2,000 for the Leukaemia Foundation in the World’s Greatest Shave and money’s still trickling in – I think $2,500 is possible, I’ll report back at the end of the week.  Just under $900 was raised at Jeremy’s Cafe on Friday night, and more people have stuffed money into my hand and run off screaming in the two days since then.  (And one special person grabbed my bike and rode off chortling – see previous post).

There were so many people there on Friday night manically clutching so many different kinds of recording devices that in a few dozen millenia, when the next wave of civilisation evolves from ants or something, they’ll be able to use the footage of my head shaving as a Rosetta Stone * for obsolete technology formats.

My camera (in the hands of someone else obviously) ran out of batteries half way through the shaving, so I waited until today to post, after I’d got a copy of the photos my friend Mark took on the night.

Thanks to everyone who helped out, especially Nicole for organising the venue and food, Helga for the great invite, Jeremy for lending us his cafe for the night, and to Liz and Stuart for defoliating my head while leaving my face in place.

Photos below the fold.

To Whoever Stole My Bike

IF

…you’re using my bike to

• cycle around the Amazon preaching to Lost Tribes about the need to floss regularly
• transport vital medical aid to impoverished nations
• visit migrants to help them with their English skills so they don’t fall foul of the Government’s freshly bigoted new citizenship test (the same Government that just cut $11 million out of funding for English language education programmes for migrants)
• drop off a copy of more financial records of Liberal Party Senators to the press

then I understand, and forgive you.

IF NOT

…may a quartet of gently purring Priuses slowly tear you apart while the etherising strains of Dido waft to your ears from their perfectly adequate stereo systems.

And on behalf of myself, the girl who got onto my bus a few minutes after me clutching a bike helmet while tears streamed down her face, and everyone else who might now think twice about doing the environmentally responsible thing in riding their bikes (to a peace rally, too, you bastard) – I hope your St Patrick’s Day booze turns out to be tainted, and you spend the next 72 hours trapped, pants down, in your bathroom doing an excruciatingly uncomfortable tuba impersonation so malodorous that you spend the rest of your life as a pariah.

The Great Unveiling – Tonight

I’ve overshot my goal of $1000 sponsorship already, and I’ve got about 40 RSVPs to the shave itself tonight, many of whom have yet to give me a cent, so I think I might even break $1500 - but I’ll wait until the dust settles before I post a final figure.

I’ve spoken to a company that makes wigs called Sweidas that will take the hair and turn it into a wig for cancer patients, and I think I’ve gotten the fairly simple instructions straight – tie it off at both ends, don’t let it get messed up, don’t run shrieking out of the cafe before you cut it off, screaming “Leave me alone!”

A friend dropped the clippers into the office this morning, and it all became frighteningly real.  I’ve just completed a check of them, and they’re unfortunately working well.

Thanks to Helga who designed my invitation – I think half the people coming along are only doing so because of that.

Helga’s available for other design projects – discounts for charitable groups (I was so desperate-looking, she did my invite for free) – at http://www.ninthlifedesign.com/

More donations are welcome at http://www.worldsgreatestshave.com/profile.php?id=308677

Thank you to everyone who has helped organise and promote this, and to everyone who has made a donation already.  I’ll see some of you tonight.

Spot the shaved spot

World’s Greatest Shave sponsorship now over $900

And with over 30 people RSVPing for the Great Unveiling on Friday, most of whom haven’t yet pledged anything, I think I can pretty much guarantee that I’ll make my target of $1000.

Damnit.

Anyway, for anyone out there in the ether who wants to come along and see me debase myself for charity, there’s still time to RSVP for Friday’s event, or sponsor me here .

For those of you who’d just like a laugh, have a look at this:

 

“if I could say so and be, for a foreign minister, rather undiplomatic”

 The title is drawn directly from Alexander Downer’s interview on the ABC’s Insiders on Sunday - and begs the question, when has Alexander Downer not been undiplomatic?

As he’s granted himself permission to be undiplomatic (just this once, I’m sure) I decided I’d follow his lead, in examining some of the Great Works of our beloved Minister for Foreign Affairs.

In this Insiders interview, he:

• elegantly sank the boot into Kelvin Thompson in the typically nuanced and considered fashion we’ve come to expect from Lord Downer “I think he’s one of those people who was quite happy to make all sorts of pretty base allegations against people in the government.” If you removed the words “in the government” from this quote, it would sound like Alexander’s job description.  At least as he seems to see it.
• Made a slew of character attacks against Kevin Rudd.  Including that he wasn’t super duper opposed to the war in Iraq, just enough that he wouldn’t have committed Australian troops.  But, if circumstances had been different, he might have.  Yeah.  Think about it.
• Claimed innocence over the AWB affair because “the Government never endorsed or supported this particular activity by AWB”. Pretty conclusive – the “La La La, I Can’t Hear You” defence has never had a more strident proponent than Downer.

- and the real kicker for me was cramming all of that into an interview entitled “Downer discusses the Garuda plane crash”.

V. Brief Update

My computer is still toast.

 My sponsorships for the World’s Greatest Shave are up to $650.

 And I’m just dropping by a friendly computer to write out my President’s speech for the Friends of the ABC’s AGM which starts at 2.30 this afternoon.